i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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