Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
