I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize