WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
