My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
