I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
