Screwed.edu
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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