Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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