my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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