i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
