Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize