Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
My vagina is very pro this idea
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
