Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
