Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
