i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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