they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
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