Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Randomize
