Duck Duck Cougar?
i think i have herpe
just one?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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