it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Randomize
