now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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