Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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