I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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