Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
