Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
