I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Randomize
