So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize