Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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