I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize