Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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