hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I just gift wrapped bread.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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