We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
