How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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