Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
