I want to make a zoo with you.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
we're so committed to being not committed
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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