What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
