So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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