Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize