i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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