The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Can I color on your dick again?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Randomize
