She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
this will be a night to untag.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
