Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
