tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Come see our sink grown plant.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
