is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize