The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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