Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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