we're chasing vodka with high fives
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
