I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
