god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
