Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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