I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
