This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
you never un-have a 4some
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
