Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
