There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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