So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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