My nipple is on Facebook.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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