Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
