Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Randomize
