I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i love accidental penises.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
