went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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