trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
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