He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
